Current Mood-Helpless (In more ways than one)
Current Songs-Limp Bizkit Significant Other (the whole friggin' CD)

I have soooo much I need to get out here...including my kick ass weekend and what has been happening in my life. As it stand right now, this will be a very, very, very eye-opening weekend one way or the other. LOL. I'll get some more out soon...promise...but now I gotta head to bed...have to teach in 7 hours. Night!

PS-That CD has soooo much built up anger and vengeful sadness...I LOVE IT!

Current Mood-Joyful
Current Song-Tool "Schism"

Well, I finally went in for the doctors appointment. It was quite the experience, as I don't think I've ever stripped down for another man before! LOL. Anyway for those of you who were wondering what was going on with me, and to all of you who have been very supportive of me the last two to three weeks, here' shte scoop. I had been passing a large amount of blood with each bowel movement I had. It happened twice, then took a week and a half off, then happened again three times this past weekend. It was quite scary, and my possible causes were either an internal hemmorhoid, a fissure in my skin, an ulcer, or colon cancer. Not the most cheerful list of suspects to chose from. Well, I had the doctor look at it today. I didn't think the health center would perform tests on me, but rather refer me elsewhere. Well much to my delight and dismay, they do them here. Well the doctor said he would have to do any combination of three test. One involved him poking my ass and seeing what was the deal (bad). Two involved him poking inside my ass and seeing what the deal was (worse). The third involved the dreaded scope up the ass to 'look around' (worst). Well he found a hemmoroid on the rim of the rectum that wasn't fun, but near there, and probably caused because of that, he also found a fissure in the skin. He said that it was pretty bad and that he could pull the skin apart with his fingers, and that it had signs of recently bleeding. So with that he said "you're lucky!". I didn't have to have anything really shoved up my ass, which is always a good thing. So with two medications in my backpack, I should be set, unless it doesn't get better . So it looks like all will be ok! Quite the scare though. I lost a lot of blood. :( It was very scary for me, and now I get to call my mom with the 'happy' news tonight.

~shaken, not stirred

Cody

Current Mood-Hopeful
Current Songs-AFI "The Leaving Song Part II" & "Girls Not Grey"

Well in an update to the situation, I called my home today, but no one was home. I then called my mom at work, and they told me she was busy doing something, so I told them that it was her son calling long distance and that it was kinda important. They bowed down, lol. Anyway, I told my mom what was up, and that I was going to set up an appointment to see a doctor. She said I had better do that, and that she was kinda scared. Mom being mom offered to come up, but I told her I'll get by. I know it hurts parents that they cannot be there for everything, that's what makes them good parents. So I then called the clinic on campus here, and will be going in tomorrow morning before my class. So, I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Special thanks to Joe "Puffy" Crowel, my roommate for the idea of my North Wind Comic this week.
Another special thanks to Puffy and Katie for watching 9 hours of Lord of the Rings movies this weekend.
FDM's Lab Show was KICKASS--hope you all got out there and had a chance to watch it.
Speaking of the Northwind, this weeks comic may only make sense to Lord of the Rings fans, but--I tied it into Northern also.
The Musical Anguish Tournament is going quite well so far, as we reach into week four.
Finally, I have a Yahoo! Fantasy Basketball League up if anyone is interested.

laters,

~Cody

Current Mood-Shaken
Current Song-Smashing Pumpkins "In the Arms of Sleep"

I should really be sleeping, but I went to WebMD and looked over possible conditions that follow my symptoms. I have always had a really quesy stomach when it comes to stuff like this, and tonight was no different. I was glad that Katie was talking to me online, as I was seriously feeling as if I would vomit and cry at the same time from reading the page. Well I've decided that my parents need to know what is going on before I set up an appointment anywhere, so I'll call them first thing in the morning. This sucks, and I don't know if its the actual problem i'm having or just thinking about it, but I can feel myself actually getting weaker. I"m still pretty scared about all this, and prayed tonight to my Lord. I don't think I have prayed since I with Michelle, when I would pray each night before drifting off to sleep. Sigh. I don't really want to discuss exactly what is wrong as this point on here, but as soon as I find out...I'll pass it along. Just know that the range is pretty wide, from simple medicine to...well I don't even want to think about that.

I have a good life. I guess I always have had a good life, filled with wonderful friends and family. Not many people were lucky enough to have 7 grandparents when they were born, much less still have 5. My parents, though tons of arguing, have never divorced. My friends have always been awesome, with both groups included, back home and here at college. I've been privilaged to have 3 wonderful relationships in college, which have totalled over 3 years worth of time. I've had many opportunities here in college, and though hesitant, to see what I can do after college, am in no real rush to get there. I've met not hundreds, but literally over a thousand people here at collge. I've got everything I need in life, a great sense of humor, loads of creativity, honestly, intelligence, dependability, and above all common sense. If I had to go back and do anything differently, there would be a few things I would change, but for the most part my point is that I've done about everything i wanted to--and not just everything I've wanted to, but everything I've wanted to successfully. My only real regret at this point is not having a real special someone i can verballize this all to. Where I do appreciate all my friends, somethings you just feel more comfortable telling someone who cares about you in that other special way. Oh well, I guess Meatloaf had it right when he said "Two out of Three ain't bad".

Well enough rambling. I'll try to post again tomorrow with some kind of update.

Take care all, and love ya,

~Cody

Current Mood-Scared
Curent Song-Our Lady Peace "Thief"

Okay, so if anyone does actually read this, you might be disappointed, as I will not be doing the big posting I promised. As some of you may nor may not know...I have been very sick the last three weeks or so. Please don't ask me what is wrong or ask others. I'll put it on here when I find out for sure what is going on with me. FInd out from me first please. There's a chance that I might have something pretty serious, and to be honest...I'm scared as hell. I've never had anything wrong with me before and this isn't a good thing to start with. Ah--that was my attempt at being funny in this moment. I tell ya what, something that scares you so much really puts life in perspective for you. Even if this turns out to be non-serious, my eyes have opened. Please enjoy the time you have with people, as you just never know, you never know. I have been putting it off long enough. Monday I will make an appointment and go in to the clinic. I'm just very scared, as I said I've never had anything wrong before. Appreciate everything you've ever had with anyone. I'll get back to ya. If you read this, must mean I love ya...and if you're the type that talks to a higher power, put in a good word for me. Thanks for being a friend.

~Cody

Current Mood-Despondent
Current Song-Linkin Park "Lying From You"

Watch tonight for a big update...I don't know if anyone reads this or not...but I think I'm ready to tackle the biggest subject now...the one I've been putting off truly expressing for a while now. :(

(ps-these new wrap around headphones I bought are soooooo kickass)

Current Mood-Reminiscent
Current Song-Snoop Dogg "Lay Low"

This song always reminds me of West Hall and the olden days. It was the only time I think my roommate Dan and I ever bonded over a rap song. We watched the entire making the video and then watched the premiere of the video. Oh well, time was always so crazy when I lived in that damn room. I mean...missing over 100 classes in one semester?! I can't even imagine how I passed that semester...much less carried a C. Oh well. I miss Dan and our wild adventures we once had. :)

Current Mood-Depressed
Current Song-Smashing Pumpkins "Thirty Three"

Sigh. I hate half my life right now, as I have for the last 2 months. What are you going to do? Its hard when you basically give up hope on half your life. True happiness seems such a distant memory, that I can't really remember what it was like. Well I did meet two girls this year, but niether one worked, and I should have seen this. Its hard to even think how I can meet someone great again. It is especially hard working at this desk, cause I get to see all the gorgeous girls walk by, and for one reason or another, I know that I can't have any of them. I feel too old to be getting a girl at college, yet scared shitless since I have no idea where I would meet a girl after college. I'm not exactly the social butterfly who picks up hoochie mama's everywhere he can. I'm too picky. I always thought that was a good thing...now i'm not so sure. Speaking of people I used to think were somehow going to be my wonder girl, I've decided to ditch my handful of friends (that wanted me to go to the lab shows this weekend on different days) and go with Kentucky. SHould still be exciting, as I haven't done anything with her still since school started. We'll see how that goes.

I swear to god i'll update this damn thing..once i figure out what it is used for...lol....